I feel lost. That's why I made this blog. I just don't know where to go from here. Where will I go from now on?
I have been a good student ever since. Maybe I don't have good study habits but I was good in my class. I have been a consistent honor student. Top of the class once but that was it. I am failing one of my class now. I've got a failing grade in the first exam we took. Bad thing is that it was Math. It was the lifeline of my course.
No, my course isn't BS Mathematics but BS Mechanical Engineering. Of course I do want to get that college degree someday but I don't think I can make it. Video games are in the way. The Internet is in the way. Almost everything was a distraction to me. I even sleep in class for Pete's sake!
Maybe I'm not really cut out for this. Maybe my real goal is just to be someone everyone can recognize. I'm a really attention needy guy but no, not a whore. I just want to feel loved you know.
Over the past couple of years I've idolized lots and lots of internet celebrities: freddiew, nigahiga, PewDiePie, Vsauce group, CGP Grey, Rooster Teeth, etc. I really wanted to be like them. I never had the chance to but God, I just want to be like them. I've been researching day in and day out how to produce online stuff. How to make vidoes. blogs, all of those stuff. I want to feel it. Having success were I enjoy it a lot. Yes, I will enjoy being an engineer but I think I'm more cut out into online production.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just lost.
